Executive Coaching: Power vs. Force (part2)

In part one we examined how we can slide down the slippery slope from “power to” (competence) into “power over” (domination). In other words, we can move from effectiveness into ineffectiveness, from operating from groundedness to operating from ungroundedness.  How often we move back and forth, and how long we’re able to sustain “power” are good indicators of high emotional intelligence.

The charts below, adapted from Dr. David Hawkins’ book, Power vs. Force, show an example of how each EnneaType’s strengths can easily slip in to less-effective behaviors (force) that knock us off center and disable our connection to our authentic power:

 One: The Perfectionist

Power	Force
Impartial (I am non-judgmental)	Righteous (I am superior)
Surrendering	Worrying
Responsible	Guilty

Two: The Helper

Power	Force
Helpful (I assist you without attachment)	Meddling (I insist on offering you assistance)
Devoted	•       Possessive
Empathetic	Pitying

Three: The Achiever

Power	Force
Encouraging (I facilitate achievements)	•       Promoting (I “advertise” achievements)
Diplomatic	Deceptive
Praising	Flattering

Four: The Individualist

Power	Force
Appreciative (I am content with what I have)	Envious (I want what you have)
Egalitarian	•       Elitist
Selective	Exclusive

Five: The Observer

Power	Force
Detached (I don’t have an attachment to the outcome)	•       Removed (I refuse to engage)
Aware	Preoccupied
Thoughtful	Pedantic

Six: The Loyalist

Power	Force
Courageous (I will do it no matter what)	•       Self-doubting (I don’t think I can do it, no matter what)
Equal	Superior
Loyal	Chauvinistic

Seven: The Enthusiast

Power	Force
Abundant (I have enough)	•       Excessive (I want more)
Enlivening	Exhausting
Spontaneous	Impulsive

Eight: The Challenger

Power	Force
Powerful (I invite you to follow)	Forceful (I demand that you follow)
Authoritative	•       Dogmatic
Confident	Arrogant

Nine: The Mediator

Power	Force
Reliant (I can rely on you to help me)	Dependent (I can’t do it myself)
Conciliatory	•       Stubborn
Serene	Dull

In part three we will part three we will examine how we can restore, and help sustain our power by shedding the self-defeating “ego structures” that show up in our lives.

Sandy Hogan is an executive coach headquartered in Tucson, Arizona. Through integral coaching, teaching, writing and speaking she is dedicated to “evoking of others the highest in themselves.” She infuses compassion and creativity into her coaching style and philosophy, working with clients’ particular leadership issues, backgrounds, disciplines, careers, goals, and views of life. Her clients are corporate executives, management professionals, non-profit and community leaders, and people who find themselves in the midst of major transitions. More on Sandy >

Executive Coaching: Power vs. Force (part1)

Recently, I’ve been integrating several integral models in my executive coaching work. Specifically, Dr. David Hawkins’ work with Power vs. Force, James Flaherty’s model of concentrating power, and Riso and Hudson’s “level of development” tradition of the Enneagram.

Essentially, we can slide down the slippery slope from “power to” (competence) into “power over” (domination). In other words, we can move from effectiveness into ineffectiveness, from operating from groundedness to operating from ungroundedness. Below is a chart that distinguishes power from force, according to David Hawkins:

POWER	FORCE
Is self-evident and not arguable, therefore not subject to proof	Is arguable and therefore requires constant defense and proof
Power “to” (competence)	Power “over” (domination)
Associated with the whole	Associated with the partial or incomplete
Its effect is to unify	Its effect is to polarize
Does not move against opposition	Automatically creates counter-force to push against
Requires no justification	Must always be justified
Energizes, gives forth, supplies and supports	Has an insatiable appetite and constantly consumes
Is still, a standing field	Is a movement, tries to get from here to there
Arises from meaning, motive and principal	Arises from transient goals; when reached, the emptiness of meaninglessness remains
Associated with health, vitality and life	Associated with sickness, disease and death

In the Enneagram model, the “stress points,” or direction of Disintegration moves us from “power” to “force.” Conversely, the “growth points,” or direction of Integration moves from “force” back to “power.” We move back and forth from “power” to “force” all the time, in different situations, and with different people.  How often we move back and forth, and how long we’re able to sustain “power” are good indicators of high emotional intelligence.

Growth "Force to Growth": 1>7>5>8>2>4>1  3>6>9>3

Stress Points "Growth to Force": 1>4>2>8>5>7>1  3>9>6>3

Enneagram Descriptions: http://trinityperformancegroup.blogspot.com/2011/09/enneagram-descriptions.html

In part two we will examine how the basic fears of each type therefore erode “power” by our unconscious strategies to avoid feeling the fear and how we shift back and forth between "power" and "force."

Sandy Hogan is an executive coach headquartered in Tucson, Arizona. Through integral coaching, teaching, writing and speaking she is dedicated to “evoking of others the highest in themselves.” She infuses compassion and creativity into her coaching style and philosophy, working with clients’ particular leadership issues, backgrounds, disciplines, careers, goals, and views of life. Her clients are corporate executives, management professionals, non-profit and community leaders, and people who find themselves in the midst of major transitions. More on Sandy >

Enneagram Descriptions

The Enneagram is a powerful and dynamic personality system that describes nine distinct and fundamentally different patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. Each of the nine patterns is based on an explicit perceptual filter. This filter determines the focus of your attention and how you direct your energy. Underneath each of the nine patterns is a basic proposition, or belief, about what you need in life for survival and satisfaction.

Type 1 - The Perfectionist

Believes you must be good and right to be worthy.

Consequently, Perfectionists are conscientious, responsible,

improvement-oriented, and self-controlled, but also can

be critical, resentful, and self-judging.

Strengths: Hard working; responsible; consistent; logical;

improvement – oriented

Difficult: Resentful; non-adaptable; critical; controlling;

judging

Type 2 – The Helper

Believes you must give fully to others to be loved.

Consequently, Helpers are caring, helpful, supportive,

and relationship-oriented, but also can be prideful, overly

intrusive, and demanding.

Strengths: Relationships; responsible; supportive; likable;

Caring

Difficult: Boundaries; privilege; indirect; intense; difficulty

saying no

Type 3 – The Achiever

Believes you must accomplish and succeed to be loved.

Consequently, Performers are industrious, fast-paced,

goal focused, and efficiency- oriented, but also can be

inattentive to feelings, impatient, and image-driven.

Strengths: Confident; high energy; efficient, overcomes

problems; results oriented     

Difficult: Missing your own feelings; moving into action too

quickly; wanting too much attention from others

Type 4 – The Individualist

Believes you must obtain the longed for ideal relationship

or situation to be loved. Consequently, Romantics are

idealistic, deeply feeling, empathetic, authentic to self, but

also dramatic, moody, and sometimes self-absorbed.

Strengths: Inspiring; creative; authentic; emotional depth;

expressive; intuitive

Difficult: “Nothing” is good enough, rejected by others;

feeling different from others

Type 5 – The Observer

Believes you must protect yourself from a world that

demands too much and gives too little to assure life.

Consequently, Observers are self-sufficiency seeking, nondemanding,

analytic/thoughtful, and unobtrusive, but also

can be withholding, detached, and overly private.

Strengths: Scholarly; respectful; objective; expert;

Competent

Difficult: Isolation; detached from feelings; feelings of

intrusion; seeing requests as demands

Type 6 – The Loyalist

Believes you must gain protection and security in a

hazardous world you just can’t trust. Consequently, Loyal

Skeptics are themselves trustworthy, inquisitive, good

friends, and questioning, but also can be overly doubtful,

accusatory, and fearful.

Strengths: Thoughtful; warm; protective; devoted to others;

fair; sensitive

Difficult: Inaction; fear; wanting more proof before

decisions; pessimistic

Type 7 – The Enthusiast

Believes you must keep life up and open to assure a

good life. Consequently, Epicures are optimistic, upbeat,

possibility- and pleasure-seeking, and adventurous, but also

can be pain-avoidant, uncommitted, and self-serving.

Strengths: Curious; upbeat; engaging; quick thinker; positive

Difficult: Impulsive; unfocused; avoid pain; self-absorbed

Type 8 – The Protector

Believes you must be strong and powerful to assure protection

and regard in a tough world. Consequently, Protectors are

justice-seeking, direct, strong, and action-oriented, but also

overly impactful, excessive, and sometimes impulsive.

Strengths: Strength; direct; assertive; inspiring; leadership;

protective of others

Difficult: Sharing fear; losing control; lowering energy or

presence; demanding

Type 9 – The Mediator

Believes that to be loved and valued you must blend in

and go along to get along. Consequently, Mediators are

self-forgetting, harmony-seeking, comfortable, and steady,

but also conflict avoidant and sometimes stubborn.

Strengths: Harmonious; easy-going; caring; accepting;

mediating; trusting

Difficult: Going along to get along; saying no; conflict;

forgetting oneself; delayed decisions

Sales Leadership

What Blocks Active Listening (Part 2)?

In our last bog we reviewed a recent discussion I had with a small group of highly successful sales leaders. I outlined what some of the potential barriers to active listening are as I reflected on common patterns I see sales leaders / sales people struggle with.   We expanded point number one last week and today we’ll take a closer look at point number two.

1. Exploring new possibilities through powerful questions and staying present to the conversation through active listening (not planning or thinking of your next question)
2.  Not realizing how stories keep us locked into language and emotions that block us from seeing what other possibilities exist
3. Feeling like you have to go into a sales call with: an agenda YOU drive and make a sale

As human beings, we have largely been unaware that language and emotion is shaping the world we live and also our own stories and success.  Let me provide you with some definitions of emotions and language, and examples of how they potentially impact our performance.

Emotions come and go, can be turned on and off quickly (or sometime lasting longer) and are always bound to particular events and we can normally point to the circumstances that generate them. With emotions, we can identify the events that triggered them. If those events disappear, the emotions that went with them will normally disappear. Emotions are specific and reactive. Events precede them.

In my previous blog we examined four industries that are changing quickly, and all face their own set of specific challenges.

Healthcare:  Pricing pressures, shift in decision makers (physician to economic buyer), physicians employees (less independence in decisions), healthcare reform and reduced payments

Banks: More scrutiny on loans, longer process, fewer products with flexibility, fewer clients meet guidelines (credit scores, down payments, income, etc.)

Real Estate:  Declining prices and commissions, high inventory, competing with foreclosures, bank approved loans, fewer buyers

Finance: Volatility of the stock market, fewer investors, more conservative investor, fewer dollars going into investments

So how does language fit into this?  We say that according to the emotions we are in, our stories are different ― that we speak and listen differently. Every story brings with it its own mood or emotion. A story is always a combination of two basic factors ― language and emotions.  We claim that these two factors are not independent of each other. To be coupled in a story, language and emotions must match. There is a basic principle of coherence between them. Language and emotional states are in close relation to each other.

Some examples of this may include changes you have experienced in your own sales territory, sales team or organization.  What stories are you stating or thinking that might be limiting a broader perspective or active listening on your part.

• Have you been locked out of an account that once yielded high revenue due to new contracts and pricing, and your company will not participate? Does your story include any emotions towards anger for being locked out?
•  Is it impossible to get your loans approved by underwriting and make commissions?  Does your story include emotions around helplessness with no chance of achieving your goals?
• Are there fewer qualified buyers today willing to purchase a new or used home?  Do you feel these limits hold you back?
• Are people no longer willing to invest (or have the means to) due to a volatile stock market?  Is fear hindering you and others from moving forward?

So what can we do about these stories that quite possibly are holding us back?

Some guidelines for help

• Become an observer of your stories. Identify the emotions and not "how things are." If we assume, as stories and emotions normally make us believe, that the way we assess the world is the way the world is, we close possibilities for producing a different story and emotions.
• The acknowledgement that we are not the producer of our emotions, but that the emotion is producing us, allows us to intervene more easily. However, even though we are not responsible for the stories we find ourselves in, we are responsible for staying in them.
• Beware of the stories we have built around our emotions. We tend to make our emotions right, and we can give infinite reasons why it makes a lot of sense to be in the mood that we are in. Remember that often it is not what the story says that produced the emotions; it is the emotions that produced the story (and potential outcomes).

From personal experience, I can share with you my own shift in recognizing the stories and emotions that accompany them, that held me back.  It wasn’t until I began to work with a certified coach and immerse myself into executive coaching and Enneagram training that I truly saw how new possibilities do exist. This has also freed me from feeling like I need to control or drive my own sales calls.  Instead it allows me to freely probe and ask questions without trying to control the outcomes, and allows me to actively listen and be present to what my potential clients are saying.  In my twenty plus years of sales this has had the most impact on both my client and me.

John Brambert is the President of Trinity Performance Group, a team of seasoned Executive Coaches trained in the leading worldwide coaching programs. Trinity Performance Group’s goal is to provide a wide range of executive coaching, leadership and team development, and related services to our clients.  See More in John>