Sales Leadership

What Blocks Active Listening (Part 2)?

In our last bog we reviewed a recent discussion I had with a small group of highly successful sales leaders. I outlined what some of the potential barriers to active listening are as I reflected on common patterns I see sales leaders / sales people struggle with.   We expanded point number one last week and today we’ll take a closer look at point number two.

1. Exploring new possibilities through powerful questions and staying present to the conversation through active listening (not planning or thinking of your next question)
2.  Not realizing how stories keep us locked into language and emotions that block us from seeing what other possibilities exist
3. Feeling like you have to go into a sales call with: an agenda YOU drive and make a sale

As human beings, we have largely been unaware that language and emotion is shaping the world we live and also our own stories and success.  Let me provide you with some definitions of emotions and language, and examples of how they potentially impact our performance.

Emotions come and go, can be turned on and off quickly (or sometime lasting longer) and are always bound to particular events and we can normally point to the circumstances that generate them. With emotions, we can identify the events that triggered them. If those events disappear, the emotions that went with them will normally disappear. Emotions are specific and reactive. Events precede them.

In my previous blog we examined four industries that are changing quickly, and all face their own set of specific challenges.

Healthcare:  Pricing pressures, shift in decision makers (physician to economic buyer), physicians employees (less independence in decisions), healthcare reform and reduced payments

Banks: More scrutiny on loans, longer process, fewer products with flexibility, fewer clients meet guidelines (credit scores, down payments, income, etc.)

Real Estate:  Declining prices and commissions, high inventory, competing with foreclosures, bank approved loans, fewer buyers

Finance: Volatility of the stock market, fewer investors, more conservative investor, fewer dollars going into investments

So how does language fit into this?  We say that according to the emotions we are in, our stories are different ― that we speak and listen differently. Every story brings with it its own mood or emotion. A story is always a combination of two basic factors ― language and emotions.  We claim that these two factors are not independent of each other. To be coupled in a story, language and emotions must match. There is a basic principle of coherence between them. Language and emotional states are in close relation to each other.

Some examples of this may include changes you have experienced in your own sales territory, sales team or organization.  What stories are you stating or thinking that might be limiting a broader perspective or active listening on your part.

• Have you been locked out of an account that once yielded high revenue due to new contracts and pricing, and your company will not participate? Does your story include any emotions towards anger for being locked out?
•  Is it impossible to get your loans approved by underwriting and make commissions?  Does your story include emotions around helplessness with no chance of achieving your goals?
• Are there fewer qualified buyers today willing to purchase a new or used home?  Do you feel these limits hold you back?
• Are people no longer willing to invest (or have the means to) due to a volatile stock market?  Is fear hindering you and others from moving forward?

So what can we do about these stories that quite possibly are holding us back?

Some guidelines for help

• Become an observer of your stories. Identify the emotions and not "how things are." If we assume, as stories and emotions normally make us believe, that the way we assess the world is the way the world is, we close possibilities for producing a different story and emotions.
• The acknowledgement that we are not the producer of our emotions, but that the emotion is producing us, allows us to intervene more easily. However, even though we are not responsible for the stories we find ourselves in, we are responsible for staying in them.
• Beware of the stories we have built around our emotions. We tend to make our emotions right, and we can give infinite reasons why it makes a lot of sense to be in the mood that we are in. Remember that often it is not what the story says that produced the emotions; it is the emotions that produced the story (and potential outcomes).

From personal experience, I can share with you my own shift in recognizing the stories and emotions that accompany them, that held me back.  It wasn’t until I began to work with a certified coach and immerse myself into executive coaching and Enneagram training that I truly saw how new possibilities do exist. This has also freed me from feeling like I need to control or drive my own sales calls.  Instead it allows me to freely probe and ask questions without trying to control the outcomes, and allows me to actively listen and be present to what my potential clients are saying.  In my twenty plus years of sales this has had the most impact on both my client and me.

John Brambert is the President of Trinity Performance Group, a team of seasoned Executive Coaches trained in the leading worldwide coaching programs. Trinity Performance Group’s goal is to provide a wide range of executive coaching, leadership and team development, and related services to our clients.  See More in John>